I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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