I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Randomize
