porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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