I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
