I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
