Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
