Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
