I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
