yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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