Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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