Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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