Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
