Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
