you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
