You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We named our party play list daddy issues
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
