Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
