remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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