I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
