Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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