Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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