I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
