nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
