Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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