Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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