Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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