And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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