I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
