Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
