i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
