Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
