The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
