brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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