She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
