my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
