why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
