You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
