My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
