i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
