Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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