DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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