so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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