just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
