It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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