Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Nicole vs. Life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
