did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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