I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just pee around me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
