stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
