Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
