Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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