Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
