She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
