people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
