My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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