So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize