i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
