You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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