If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he was CRYING into my vagina
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
