An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
