I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want nice things and good sex
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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