I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
