I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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