is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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