Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
