Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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