brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
